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It’s been a while…

October 27, 2010

As I sign in to my account (what was my password again!?), I can’t help but grimace as I realize my last post was a pre-vacay farewell. Ouch, it’s been much longer than I thought……..

That’s a lie. I know exactly how long it’s been. I’m just trying to avoid responsibility for my laziness, as usual.

Okay, let me explain….No, I really shouldn’t. Because “let me explain” is code for “here are as many excuses as I can muster to try to make myself feel better for my own shortcomings, my own failures”. So I will sum it up with just a simple statement. I just wasn’t in it. You know, you gotta be in it to produce anything with any quality and I just wasn’t there, mentally. In fact, I haven’t been anywhere mentally lately, except engrossed in the stack of books I return home with frequently from the library.

As the seasons change from summer to fall, I find that I almost always am stricken with nostalgia. I crave an exit to my own world. I search for my past, for my childhood, for a world where dreams are so possible, where fantasy is the new reality. I find myself extending my DVD collection to include my favorite animated classics, scouring the aisles of party stores for Halloween decor, indulging in Victorian mysteries and losing myself in the shelves of YA Fiction. I know exactly why I do this, too. Because as September brings close to us the dreamy season of the holidays, it also brings about a season of change. And that change is one, that for most of my life so far, is marked by a feeling of a return to serious-ness…back to school, back to reality, back to the track I’m on to my future. It’s easy to cope with when you’re mid-university, when no real intense decision needs to be made just yet, when interest on OSAP hasn’t kicked in and technically you feel like you’re playing with free money. But now, graduation has come and gone (over a year ago, might I add), and with this September, no reality is forced on me, but this time it is my turn to force it on myself.

Okay, so what if it’s October and this post is slightly delayed. But I just thought I’d let you know I’m coming around. My mind is finally feeling stimulated. My fingers finding more comfort on my keys…..oh, and my tummy is grumbling extra loud now that the cold weather is surfacing and my body is craving the magical warmth that good ol’ comfort food provides.

So it may take some time for me to get in the full swing of things. But I promise we have much to catch up on. Now that I have finally assembled all my vacation photos I’ll be soon be sharing with you the starchy English and Italian delights that seem to keep me forever hungry back home….

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